Pra onde tudo vai?

Para onde vai tudo que se vive? Para onde vai a mágica de certos instantes? ...A comunhão que se viveu, a cumplicidade de dividir tempo, espaço, experiências inaugurais? Para onde vão o carinho, a parceria, a entrega? Para onde vai o conhecimento, pessoal e intransferível, que se tinha um do outro? Para onde vai o que só vocês viram e experimentaram: aquela viagem especial, a peça de teatro inesquecível, a notícia daquele emprego, o segredo de só vocês dois? Para onde vai a absoluta intimidade que se teve com o outro?


Acredito que isso tudo fica em um lugar interno, como um site, uma espécie de nuvem que armazenamos tudo o que vivemos. Tão reais como o ICloud, temos os nosso WeClouds, que podemos acessar ou que nos acessa, algo que fica preservado, e que, mais do que nos fazer lembrar coisas, nos acolhe e ratifica.

O WeCloud guarda o essencial, o que ficou depois da ruptura, da tempestade, do calor de um tempo, um a dois permanente, que sobrevive aos acordos rompidos, às bênçãos desfeitas, às juras esquecidas. No WeCloud ficam o afeto espontâneo, o registro das intenções sinceras, da vontade de acertar e de tudo que foi verdadeiro.

Os relacionamentos podem acabar, mas não o vivido. Não se trata de memória, nem de “detalhes tão pequenos de nós dois”. Não se trata de viver no passado, nem de não aceitar os fatos. Não se trata de se refugiar num mundo alegrinho de autoajuda ou contar para si uma história diferente. Trata-se de vida bem vivida que não pode nem deve ser perdida. Tudo que vivemos e sentimos vira acervo, fonte, ferramenta; é nosso para sempre.

Quando estamos com alguém, somos uma pessoa única, que só aquele companheiro conhece. Para duas pessoas que se amaram sempre haverá um lugar onde se reconhecerão, mesmo que nunca mais se encontrem.

Somos o que vivemos e não podemos abrir mão disso. É fundamental que cuidemos de nossa história, que saibamos acolher nossas experiências com generosidade e entendamos que certas vivências, emoções e descobertas foram únicas e estarão para sempre produzindo alguém efeito sobre nós.

Todo fim de relacionamento pede tempo. Tempo para a saudade, para o luto, para a cura, para o distanciamento, para a neutralidade, para o recomeço. Existe um caminho a percorrer que vai do fundo do poço ao fórum, do desespero ao terapeuta, da perplexidade a aceitação, do abandono à libertação. Há que se fazer faxinas: livros, fotos, palavras mal ditas, mágoas, decepções. Há que separar papéis, propriedades, planos, sonhos, o passado do futuro, o extinto do eterno. Só quem tem passado tem futuro. Escolher a bagagem que se carrega é decisivo para seguir adiante. Entre asas e correntes, você decide. Conjugar sem medo o pretérito imperfeito para viver o futuro do presente.

Depois de um tempo, as dores passam... Sim, elas se cansam de nós e, se somos saudáveis, nos cansamos delas também, seguimos em frente, voltamos para nós mesmos, dispensando o que não serve mais, garimpando preciosidades, cheios de preguiça de sofrer, prontos para recomeçar, de novo, mais uma vez.

Um belo dia você se pega pensando naquele “nós” que já deixou de existir, sem a fisgada de saudade, nem ressentimento, nem raiva. Você pensa com serenidade. Você pensa não mais no “ex”, mas no companheiro de vida. Sai o “ex”, fica o amigo. Isso é muito reconfortante.

É quando você recupera em DVD seus filmes em VHS, com fases queridas da sua vida, e faz uma cópia para ele, porque sabe que aquilo tudo é parte da vida dele também, e você se sente grata por compartilhar.

É quando você encontra uma caixa esquecida de cartões, e-mails que você imprimiu e fotos, que fazem lembrar quem você era e como você se sentia quando estava totalmente apaixonada.

Lá estão vocês, sócios de experiências transformadoras, parceiros de sonhos, realizados ou não, amigos que cresceram juntos, cúmplices de pequenos crimes, vítimas dos mesmos desgastes da convivência.

Somos o que nascemos e o que escolhemos viver. Somos o que ganhamos, o que perdemos, o que boicotamos e o que nunca alcançamos.

É muito libertador fazer as pazes com a nossa história. De que nos serve negar, bloquear, tornar inacessíveis as lembranças, impossibilitar o resgate saudável do vivido? Do que nos serve chamar ex-companheiros de equívocos? É injusto conosco. É empobrecedor. Temos mania de achar que só o que dura para sempre é um sucesso. Durabilidade nunca foi sinônimo de segurança, assim como o efêmero não é sinônimo de fracasso. Uma jaula é segura e nem por isso é um lugar feliz, da mesma forma que viagens são fugacidades maravilhosas que se perpetuam dentro de nós. Nenhuma história é vã. Nada é. Nossa alma-memória, aquela que nos identifica, define e referencia, é como uma colcha de retalhos; Alguns são mais bonitos que os outros, mas todos são necessários.

“Amar o perdido deixa confundido o coração” (Drummond) porque amar o intangível, o perdido, é reconhecer que muito tempo, energia e as melhores intenções foram investidas, empenhadas e depositadas numa relação, num incrível voto de confiança no outro e na vida. Sim, mesmo os grandes erros e falências têm histórias comoventes e belas. Amar o perdido é entender que nada se perde.

Amar o perdido só é possível quando você volta para casa dentro de você. Melhor que dar a volta por cima, é voltar para si mesmo. Nessa hora você se sabe inteiro, de bem com a sua história. Aí você se comove com a certeza de que um certo “pra sempre” existirá, pois “as coisas findas, muito mais que lindas, essas ficarão” (CDA).

É isso. Não fica o que é lindo. Fica o que finda. Fica de um jeito real, pois o que foi de verdade nunca finda.

As coisas findas ficam. Perdidas, talvez, mas para sempre nossas. Eternas!



(Hilda Lucas para LolaMagazine)Ver mais

Read Users' Comments (23)

23 Response to "Pra onde tudo vai?"

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